Self-Compassion

Self-Compassion: Improving Emotional Health and Well-Being

Written by: Nicole Armstrong, RP (Qualifying)

We often show compassion towards others during challenging times, but do we offer ourselves the same treatment? Compassion involves noticing suffering and offering kindness and understanding. Self-compassion extends the same treatment towards ourselves—noticing and accepting when we struggle without self-criticism or harsh judgment. Self-compassion can be especially helpful for people who struggle with perfectionist tendencies, where there can be little room for error and fear around failure. Greater self-compassion encourages learning and self-growth with less concern for potential failure. Self-compassion is not the same as self-pity or self-indulgence. Self-compassion practices invite mindfulness by helping us unhook from self-criticism and negative self-talk and instead notice and name difficult thoughts. If you engage in negative self-talk, try using a more compassionate voice.

Benefits of Self-Compassion: 

Research tells us that integrating self-compassionate practices into our lives has many benefits.

Some of these include:

  • decreased stress

  • decreased symptoms of depression and anxiety

  • reduced rumination of negative thoughts

  • greater acceptance of challenging thoughts and emotions

  • increased resilience

  • healthier relationships with one’s body

  • greater sense of connection in relationships

Self-Compassion Strategies:

The next time you are struggling with a difficult situation or experiencing stress, try Dr. Kristin Neff’s Self-Compassion Break, broken down into three easy steps:

  1. Mindfully acknowledge that you are facing a challenging situation or difficult thoughts and feelings. “I am struggling right now,” or “I am feeling anxious.”

  2. Connect with the fact that pain and suffering are part of the human experience.

  3. Offer yourself some kind words or a loving gesture.  

If you experience difficulty being self-compassionate, you might ask yourself what you’d tell a friend in a similar situation. You might even try writing it down in a journal or as a letter.

Although self-compassion seems simple in many ways, people question its validity. Luckily, it is a skill that can be improved with time and practice.

Self-Compassion in Talk Therapy:

Self-compassion practices are often part of talk therapy and can apply to many issues or concerns. Self-compassion may be integrated into therapy through mindfulness practices, identifying and reframing negative thoughts and core beliefs, and incorporating more positive self-talk.

For more resources and information on self-compassion, visit www.selfcompassion.org or book a consultation with Nicole Armstrong.

Source:

Neff, K. D., & Knox, M. C. (2020). Self-compassion. Encyclopedia of Personality and Individual Differences (pp. 4663-4670). https://praveted.info/files/Self-compassion%20review.pdf